It's like having this internal, kinda vague calender. As soon as it starts getting towards a) the end of term, b) exams or c) both, my behavior/emotions go completely crazy and I bounce back and forwards between "eh, it'll be fine" and "oh my god oh my god oh my god I'm going to fail at life and it's going to be incredibly, INSANELY awful and oh my god...". Yeah, right now, I'm heading towards c) and most of this past week has been in the "oh my god" stage, meaning... I've been just a bit erratic at school.
However, I did get an extension for one of my essays (worth, like, 25% of my mark for that subject) the other day, not because I asked for it, but because the teacher was like "whoa, ok, she REALLY needs to chill out" and also I think he just wanted me to go away. Basically, he was going around the class, checking up on how everyone was going, because he's nice like that, and.... I started crying. Every. Single. Time. he spoke to me.
That went down well.
Poor guy, he's clearly clueless when it comes to teenage girls crying, and I suppose I can't really blame him, since he probably didn't want to y'know, hug me, since that could end up with him getting fired, because my school's a little crazy like that (although, oddly, they did keep on the teacher who assaulted a student*...) Anyway, his response the first time was "ok, deep breaths, calm down... I'll talk to you later."
Second time? "Ok, ok, don't panic... tell you what, have an extension, you've been awesome this year, just... have an extension. Please stop crying."
And so I kind of mumbled something about not wanting an extension and then wandered off. That class was, um, embarrassing, but thankfully most of my year is a bit on the crazy side right now, and I'm not the only person going into hysterics in class, so that's all cool.
Anyway, the reason that I didn't just come straight out and ask him for an extension, or just say yes thankyou when he offered it, is pretty simple and really dumb. I don't like taking extensions. I've had one other one this year, and that was because of a whole lot of stuff going on outside of school that was stressing me out more than enough, and I so didn't need that assignment freaking me out as well. Thankfully, I had an understanding teacher.
The main reason i don't like taking extensions is I feel really, really guilt about it. Like, oh, I could have worked harder if I'd tried, I could have done it on time, or else everyone else has problems too, they still managed it... etcetera. However, every so often, my common sense does kick in, and I just take the damn extension already. This week was one of those times.
*ok, so I don't know the EXACT story, since she's a few years below me and I heard it from someone who heard it from someone and so on, but basically she was wearing like some weird thing in her hair, and for some reason decided that it would be a really, really awesome idea to superglue it on. When she told the teacher she couldn't take it off, he pulled it, and she like lost hair and skin and whatnot. And, to be honest, all I have to say is... "SUPERGLUE? You REALLY thought that that would be a good idea? Come on..."
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